Tuesday, February 18, 2003

I was observing, as I normally do, some people in class today. I thought that you might be interested in some of my findings:

-Ok, guys, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret that I thought you all knew, but apparently don't. Girls are all part of a vast network of spies. When a guy likes a girl, his friends might mention if they saw her talking to another guy. When a girl has a crush on someone, her friends memorize his class schedule, know where he ate lunch, and call her every time they see someone who has the same jacket.

-This one is from Someone else: Being sick in the winter is tough on looks - everyone is bundled up, people put on a few pounds, they are congested, and they all get really pale. If you think someone still looks good when they are sick during the winter, marry them before the weather gets warm again and you miss your chance.

-So, I have to know, what is the deal with boys and the "z" language? Everyone is a bizatch, some people are the shiznit, and sometimes we even go to a piz-arty. It sounds incredibly familiar, kind of like when you were six and discovered pig latin and you and all your friends used it because you thought you were cool like that. And my mom told me in college boys will be more mature. Riz-ight.

-God had to know what he was doing when he made pot smell so strongly. Imagine if this were true for other illegal things. "Hey, do you smell armed robbery?" "Yeah. It's the guy at the end of the hall." "Man, I hate that guy. The least he can do when he's stealing things is close his damn door."

-I think we overestimate how much boys care about a girl's fashion sense. Guys only have three set rules on what a girl should wear. It's gotta be tight, it's gotta be short, and invisible is cool too. Also, there seems to be a direct ratio between how little a girl wears and how hot she looks. Why doesn't this work for guys too? He can be as hot as he wants, but somehow a dude in a tube top and daisy dukes isn't much of a turn-on.

-It was cool to be sick in grammar school. All you had to do to get some guilt-free time off was convince your mom that your temperature IS actually 105 and no, it has nothing to do with the halogen lamp by your bed. Somehow in college it's not nearly as fun to convince yourself that you really need to miss class. I guess it loses something when you try it every day. And that is number one worst thing about being sick at school: your mom is nowhere to be found. When I decided that I wanted soup, I had to go downstairs and make it myself! While you're sick, there should be no such thing as a do-it-yourself activity. In efforts to make myself feel better, I made a point of calling home every day to get in my daily dose of, "Mooooommmmm, I don't feel goooood."

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