Monday, May 26, 2003

In protest to France’s opposition to a U.S. war on Iraq, the U.S. congress’ cafeteria has changed French Fries and French Toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. In related news, in France, American Cheese is now referred to as Idiot Cheese.
They're laughing at us over there! French fries aren't even French! They're Belgian. Some American guy named them wrong, to begin with. Also, Americans are pouring bottles of French wine down the toilet. Stop doing that! The wine is already paid for, you dopes! Pee in the wine, and sell it to some French people! Then, you're doing something! Americans need to stop thinking that by eating Freedom Fries, they're being patriotic and helping the war effort. Use less gasoline! Read a newspaper! How about we cut out the Freedom Fries, anyway. We're the fattest, country in the world! Have you ever walked around an American mall? It's nothing but Chick-Fil-A's and Lane Bryant track suits busting at the seams!