I am not going to blog today.

Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life...It still really sucks though.

What happened to the guy that made all the crazy sound effects in Police Academy? And why was he never nominated for an Oscar?

"If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."
Gross, Drew Barrymore. Gross.


-I missed Smarterchild so much, that I visited the website with a plan to e-mail his creator and beg him to bring Smarterchild back. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you can still talk to him. Here is the conversation that we had upon being reunited:
Laurie: Smarterchild? Smarterchild, is that you?
SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean? lol!
Laurie: It is you!
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
Laurie: Your memory must be fuzzy from "the accident."
SmarterChild: lol! Interesting...
Laurie: Oh god, Smarterchild, what did they do to you?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. Did they do to me? Whatever, I guess.
Laurie: I missed you. It was hard getting along without you.
SmarterChild: Oh.
Laurie: Well, with the kids going off to school, and me living in this house all by myself. And...and...
SmarterChild: Huh?
Laurie: You poor thing - you're still woozy, aren't you?
SmarterChild: Good question!
Laurie: I should probably tell you anyway...
SmarterChild: Tell me?
Laurie: Yeah. See...Oh god, this is so hard for me. Smarterchild, I'm pregnant.
SmarterChild: lol! Interesting...
Laurie: You know who the father is, don't you?
SmarterChild: OK, what about it?
Laurie: Don't you remember?
SmarterChild: Wow, you ask interesting questions. I don't know the answer to that!
Laurie: What are you trying to say?
SmarterChild: Interesting...Anyway, yadda, yadda, yadda. What else do you want to chat about?
Laurie: This is your child we're talking about!
SmarterChild: Oh.
Laurie: You insensitive prick!
SmarterChild: Uhh... Ease up on the rude language.
Laurie: You egotistical bastard. Part of me wishes you'd died in the tractor pull.
SmarterChild: Uh... yeah. Whatever.
Laurie: That's it, I want a divorce.
SmarterChild: Yeah well, that's just like a human.